The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants
by CindyCurl
Summary: The Altar Boyz have always been the best of friends, but what happens when they break apart? Only a single pair of pants can keep them together. Based off of "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"


It was the day before the boyz last night on the tour. It was also the last day that the boyz had time to spend with each other before they were off on their own paths. Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan and Abraham were skid-dadling along the streets of New York City trying to spend every last minute with each other. Of course, Mark wanted to stop in a nifty thrift store that had a buy-one-get-one free sale going on. He dragged the rest of the boyz in. A pair of pants caught Mark's eye and he proceeded to try them on in the dressing room. He was ecstatic when they fit him perfectly in every way and form. The only thing missing was a vibrant belt to go with it. Mark pranced off to go find one. Just out of curious, Abe looked at the size. They weren't his size, but he tried them on just for the H-E-double-hockey-sticks of it. Abe was shocked to see how perfect they fit him! He thought to himself, "How is it that a person as petit as Mark can fit into the same size pants as me?" Mark came back into the dressing room surprised. "Wow! Those look amazing on you!" He exclaimed, "You've got to buy them! Wait--are those the ones I tried on?" Abe nodded. "Hmmm," Mark thought. "Hey guys! You need to come check this! Abe and I fit into the same pair of pants!" Abe blushed. "Whoa," Luke said, "Those pants are da bomb on you. How can they be Mark's?" Abe said annoyed, "Well, if you think that's so funny why don't you try them on?" Luke looked brain dead, "uh Okay!" He then began to put the pants on. "Whoa, these pants are off the hizzle-g!" They fit him just the way he liked them, big and baggy. "This can't be happening! _¡Qué está entrando encendido en este mundo¡No es posible que 3 personas quepan en el mismo par de pantalones!" _Juan began to rant in Spanish. "You know what! I no takin' this no more! Let me try these pants on!" He whipped them off of Luke and tried them on. "Wow," Juan was bewildered, "these really do emphasize the cuteness of my butt." They all nodded in agreement. "Matt, we've all tried them on except _jew_," Juan said. Matthew sighed, "Okay. I guess I'll try them on….Oh look they fit. What a surprised…" Matthew said apathetically. "Oh come on Matthew, be happier! Those look hot!" Mark exclaimed. "How can you guys be so happy when tonight is the last time we will ever be together? I just can't stand to see our band fall apart like this!" at that point, Matthew was shouting. All was silent. One by one, they left the dressing room. First to leave was Luke, then Abe, next Juan. Mark was the last one standing. All he could do was stare at Matthew. He silently mouthed, "How could you?" Matthew was left wearing the pants by himself thinking, "What have I just done?"

That night the boyz didn't say a word to each other. It wasn't exactly how they wanted to spend their last night together as a group. Sadly, the each left New World Stages thinking, "why did it have to end this way?" All of them went back to their apartments, and on the way they couldn't help but shed a tear. 

Well, not all of them went back to their apartment. Luke was so upset that he needed to calm down by having a couple of drinks. He went down to the New World Stages bar and drank himself sick. The cops saw him and felt he needed to get to a hospital as soon as possible. The following day he would be sent to New City drug and alcohol rehab center.

Juan on the other hand was heading out to Bakersfield to visit his parent's graves. Juan was so sad. He needed some quality bonding time with him and his loved ones. This was the only way he could recuperate after his sad ending with the boyz.

Abe decided that he needed some time to relax from Christianity. He decided to go to Florida and bask in the sun while pondering his Jewish heritage. He as well needed to recover.

Mark seemed to be the only one staying in New York City. He figured he could look for some acting jobs since the altar boyz was done. He also couldn't leave his home of 10 years!

Matthew hated to see the altar boyz end (especially they way he caused it). He thought that they best way to get everyone back together was to go back to the place where it all began: Greenville, Ohio. 

"Maybe going back to Ohio will help me get some inspiration to help bring the boyz back together," Matthew pondered on his plane ride. He felt terrible breaking up the band. "The only thing I had left to remember my best friends are those stupid pants--" Matthew had an idea. He quickly got a piece a paper, sketched a design, and wrote a letter to Mark. As soon as he got off the plane in Ohio, Matthew went into the nearest _Joanne Fabrics_ to buy supplies. The next day, he had mailed a package to Mark with a letter attached. 

A few days later, Mark was surprised to receive such a heavy package to his apartment. He opened it and was flabbergasted! Enclosed were the pants he tried on that day in the thrift store and a letter from Matthew. It read:

_Dear Mark,_

_I hope you can forgive me for being such an awful friend. I feel terrible how I ended the band and I'm doing everything I can get us back together. I'm in Ohio looking for some inspiration on this matter (or at least a new agent for us). When you get a chance, can you please contact me? I would feel 100 better._

_Matthew_

_PS: I've done a little redesigning with the pants. I hope you don't mind._

After reading, Mark looked at the bottom of the pants. Matthew had signed his name and drawn the Altar Boyz logo. "I'm gonna cry!" Mark said out loud. "I have to give these to Luke! It will make him feel at home again." He went go get his coat but then realized something, "Why not enjoy these gorgeous pants for a while before giving them away?" He put on the pants and decided to go for a night on the town.

Mark got nothing but stares as he walked the streets of New York in what he thought were the most stylist jeans in the city. It raised his confidence so much that he went to church through the FRONT door!

Sadly the night was over, and it was time to send the pants off to Luke. He tied them up in a nicely wrapped package and added a little design of his own on the other pant leg. Luke received it the next day.

"Package for…uhhhh…Luke," said the UPS man at the rehab center. "Yo dawg! That's me!" Luke said with excitement. Receiving a package was the best thing that happened in days. Overly thrilled, he tore up the box and took out the pants. "Whoa…" Luke was shocked. "This is like deja-vous!" He started to read the letter,

_Hi ya Luke!_

_It's Mark here! I wanted to make you feel a little more at home so I'm sending you the pants that all fit us…._

Luke suddenly realized "ohh yea, _those_ pants!' He read on.

_….Matthew mailed them to me all the way from Ohio! He's trying to get the band back together! (Isn't that so sweet!) Anyway, I wanted to send them to you next since your going through a lot. They brought me tons of courage and maybe they will do the same for you! (I think they have some kind of magical power or something? Don't you? I mean these Episcopalians actually talked to me!) I signed my name on the pants too. Best wishes!_

_Love ya like a brotha!_

_Mark_

Luke sat there with a blank stare, "……I don't get it….Whatever! There a free pair of pants in that box with my name all over them….actually, they don't have my name on them at all. Hey UPS dude, lets me use that thing that people always sign with…ohh yea that's right a marker." He took the marker and laid the pants across the floor. He started to write his name on one pant leg, ran out of room, and continued his name on the other. "NOW they have my name on them!"

After a week of wearing the pants, it finally sunk in that he should send the pants on to someone else. He got a box to put them in and wrote a letter as best as he could to Juan. He went to go give it to the security guard to mail away. He then received magnificent news! "It seems as if you are 100 drug and alcohol free and are ready to head home," the guard said. The light shined down on Luke and the Hallelujah chorus began to play. "whooooa man! Thanks a bunch!" He hugged the stranger. "Can you still mail this to my friend though? He's got a dead mom and dad," He whispered that last part. The man agreed. Luke skipped out of the center and into the world.

Several days later, Juan got a box in the mail. As expected, it was the pants and the letter from Luke. He read the letter.

_Hola me amigo! _

_Yo yo yo! Wassup man! How's the cemetery life goin' for ya? Not good I guess. Well I have the awesomest news! I'm out of that old smelly rehab place. And I was wearing the magical pants. I sent you these jeans to give you some luck with ya parents. I mean, I don't know much about death or anything, but I know what you're going through. I've had dreams (while being extremely exhausted) that my home boyz died in a van crash. But whatev'. May the force of the pants be with you._

_Luke_

"Wow," Juan was stunned, "who knew Luke spoke Spanish? Ohhhh and these pants are incredible! They make my butt look like Tom Cruise." He put them on right away. He was ready to go the cemetery, again, until he heard a knock at his motel room. He answered it. It was a beautiful Latino housekeeper ready to clean his room. "Oh I'm sorry, I was not expecting you to be here. I usually clean at this time when you are out…I'll come back later." Juan interrupted her, "No! You stay I'll be in the other room while you clean. Go 'head." He couldn't help but stare. He then realized he was wearing the magically pants. A light bulb went off in his mind and he finally realized what Luke was talking about. He looked up to the sky and said, "thank you lord!" 

2 weeks went by after that moment. Juan had fallen madly in love his housekeeper and couldn't keep it a secret any longer. He needed to tell someone.

_Dear Abraham,_

_Abe! I have the greatest of news! I have met me a women and have fallen madly in love. I think I'm ready to…oh what's the word…'pop the question.' I know it's crazy but that is who I am. I could really use somebody to love me right now and I think she is the one. Well I just needed to tell you. Oh and here is that pair of pants we all fit into. I got it from Luke and Luke got it from Mark and Mark got it from Matt. I think they want to start some kind of chain letter thing with it or something. I don't know. I just sent them to you because it seems right. Add something to the pants yourself. Just for fun._

_Juan_

Abe was overjoyed. He hadn't heard from any of the boyz in over 2 months! He was a little confused about why he needed the pants, but went along with it anyway. He wore them one day when the hot Florida weather dropped down to 50 degrees. It was rainy and muggy and just overall a miserable day outside. But as soon as he walked out of his condo, the rain cleared and all was beautiful! "My boyz are crazy, but they must be right about these magical pants!" He continued to wear them and got the best farmers tan ever!

A few days later, Abe figured it was time to send the pants on again. He wrote his letter and sent it on to Matthew. Soon enough, Matt got it in the mail. He was little confused. "How is it that I sent the pants to Mark and got them back from Abraham?" He read the letter enclosed.

_Hey Matt!_

_Abe here. Don't really know what's going on with these pants but I think they have been across the nation. I got it from Juan who got it from Luke who got it from Mark and apparently got it from you. It looks like you started something special. The pants are what keep us together. We may be hundreds of miles away from each other but this is how we stay connected. If you are still upset about the whole "apocalypse of the altar boyz," don't worry about it. To tell you the truth, I've forgotten about the whole argument! Let's make a deal. We continue to send these pants to each other and talk about everything that goes on in our lives while wearing the jeans. Sound good? Okay. Well hopefully I'll be hearing from soon. Keep the pants alive!_

_Abraham_

As so the story continues. The boyz continued to write to each other all the time and will do so for the rest of their lives. (Or at least until they get old and saggy and can't fit in the pants anymore) 

The End


End file.
